Brit Mums Live

I'm one of the panel speaking in the Path to Publishing forum, on Friday at the Brit Mum Conference, and am suddenly, this Monday morning, am wired with nerves. I'll only be talking for 5 minutes, but at the moment, I imagine it will feel like the longest five minutes I've ever spent. To put it in perspective, five minutes is only a minute longer than my poached egg takes to cook, but that four minutes can tick by quite slowly sometimes. On the other hand there is so much to say, how could I possibly squeeze it all into five minutes? A conference of 500 women - perhaps a few men? It's bound to be noisy. I bet most of the women know each other, (at least read each other's blogs) it's like going to a party where you have met the host, but none of the guests. I met a few bloggers (Was it two years ago?) at a bloggers lunch for Bistow gravy, and a few the year before for Disney kids channel, and my neighbour is a blogger, but I'm not sure she's going.  I'm sure it will be fun though. I imagine a huge noisy space, hundreds of women sipping tea, chatting, laughing, gossiping, sneaking in a call to the babysitter, and wheeling home on a high! Come and say hello to me please and if you're nervous check in at the Butterflies group, four bloggers who are on hand to chat.

Friday

My daughter, aged 8 stood up in the bath yesterday, skinny as a pin and declared that she was fat. Yes FAT. She said she needed to go on a diet. I was so shocked and saddened that I could only say NO. No please do not go on a diet, you don't need to. "You're skinny," I wailed.

"I'm not skinny like Christianna," she said.

"You're a sports girl.You run and jump and do gymnastics." 

"But my tummy is big."

"It isn't."

And so it went on me blaming skinny models, girls at school, anyone but myself. This morning, I realise with horror that she has probably picked up on this from ME. I am constantly on a diet, constantly remarking that I'm fat. I've been on the Dukan Diet for over a year; I weigh myself every morning. I have to stop sending out this message. 

On another note, I saw this deal which is to get three copies of Junior National Geographic for £4. Can't go wrong.

Life

The strangest, most uplifting, and devastating things happen, just when you least expect them to: Some dear friends of mine lost their first baby a year ago – she died a few minutes after being born. We were all distraught; it was just so awful, almost unheard of these days. The mother conceived again, and her second baby was born two weeks ago. She came three weeks early and was born on the exact same day, within three hours of their daughter who had died a year before. We saw her on Sunday and she's absolutely beautiful and apparently never cries. I love this story, it’s as though she was helping her parents, by marking the sad anniversary with her birth.

And death: A friends’ sister, aged 47, died a few days ago, possibly from complications with diabetes. Another friend, a nurse, told me about a motorbike accident that happened outside the church she was attending on Sunday.  She rushed out to help and while the man’s wife looked on, she attempted to resuscitate, him – but unfortunately it was too late. He wasn’t wearing a helmet; would he still be alive if he had been? He had literally just left the house. My friend says it won’t leave her, this sad, surreal, experience, she wonders if she should stop talking about it. Another friend's daughter, aged 9 has died from a long battle with leukemia, I am going to the memorial today.

Life goes on and on, and then bang, something happens, that jolts you out of your stupor. Friends you least expect to split up do  - at least four friends have told me they have separated in the last few months. The other day, my husband alerted me to the fact that we don’t have house contents insurance. It immediately made me think:  What would happen if we suddenly lost everything in a fire? What would I do if my computer was stolen with my new novel on it? Or if the leaky ceiling in the shower room collapsed? There is just so much to worry about and think about - car insurance, house insurance, contents insurance, cat insurance, private health insurance, and all because we have to wonder what if? What if? It just seems so unlikely until it happens to you.


This is a sponsored post

Madeleine

#Blogging4Madeleine Blog Awareness Campaign

Five years have passed since Madeleine Mccann was abducted while on holiday in Praia de Luz on 3rd May, 2007. Today Madeleine is 9. She shares the same birthday as my son, who is 11. While Kate and Gerry Mcann will be unable to celebrate with their eldest daughter, I have just watched my birthday boy open his presents; we have already sung, Happy Birthday. Later I will take him and four friends to the skate park and bowling. We will eat cake, blow out candles - normal birthday rituals most parents take for granted. It's hard to imagine the pain that must sit with Kate and Gerry Mccann every minute, every second of the day.  Do they wake every morning with heavy hearts? Do they wonder if anyone is mistreating their daughter? In darkest moments, they must despair and wonder if she is still alive.  I wonder if they can ever experience a fleeting moment of fun while she is still missing? Do they ever laugh? Do they ever forget? My own daughter is a year younger than Madeleine, if the same thing happened to her I would be endlessly  wondering what if? What if we hadn't left her in the hotel bedroom? What if we'd checked every fifteen minutes rather than every thirty? What if we'd hired a babysitter? They must live with the guilt, like exisiting in some interminable hell. Is she still alive?  I'm not sure, but all of us want her to be found; we live in hope. 

Please note the information below:

·    

·           Contact information to report any sightings or information

What she may look like now

Thank you to AMummysView and Tea and Biscotti for organising this campaign. J

o   Your local police force immediately, AND

o   Operation Grange
0207 321 9251 (in the UK)
+44 207 321 9251 (non-UK)

o   Or Operation.Grange@met.pnn.police.uk

o   OR Crimestoppers in confidence on 0800 555111 or www.crimestoppers-uk.org

·      The Find Madeleine official website www.findmadeleine.com

·      The latest image released as she may look now

All this information is available from www.findmadeleine.com

Madeleine before she was abducted

A rainy day

My ten-year-old boy sobs theatrically on the threshold of the front door. “I hate going to the park,” he says. “You’re acting,” my husband retorts harshly with a dismissive flick of his hand. He’s a good actor - he actually won the school talent show judged by Davina Mcall, Olly Mears, and a man from JLS, for writing and performing a stand up comedy routine. He’s not usually tearful or difficult or stubborn in any way. The sobbing becomes disturbing, really quite authentic. He definitely looks pale-faced and tired, he had a disturbing dream last night about being eaten alive.

He has been stuck on a maths homework problem for an hour and has refused help. We want him to take a break, but he has now dropped to his knees wailing “get off me, leave me alone. I hate walking.” The Australians are approaching wearing tall, silly hats and holding packs of beer.   “We have to go,” I stage whisper to my husband. We need to walk away before they witness this excruciating scene. “You’ve hit a wall,” my husband keeps repeating over and over again. “You need fresh air.” He takes the boy forcefully by the arm, and we set off, a desperate and suspicious looking trio.

We pass a woman who looks at us struggling with our son, then reaches for her mobile. I imagine she is ringing the police. We walk on, breathing in car fumes and bus diesel, towards the park that used to have rats running around the muddy banks of its pond. “It’s difficult being a child,” I explain to my husband, who is fuming, ‘it’s hard to be so powerless.”

We pass our special needs neighbour, the only one who refuses to attend the annual street parties and the hearty family who invite other families over for weekend lunch and then go to the park to have netball tournaments. They glance at us with a mixture of pity and horror.

The wine merchant (who has recently added French cheese to his window display) grimaces in sympathy as we walk past. The rain stops. We march round the park, there are a few dog-walkers escorting giant dogs, but otherwise the park is deserted. I wonder where we have gone wrong, and fantasise about joining a parenting class. In a moment of madness, I suggest that we get a dog. The boy  perks up for a moment before descending into dark gloom again, demanding to be taken home. Is this brittle and determined negativity is a foretaste of teenage years? Or will I look back on this day in the park, and think it was a piece of cake?

Great Ormond Street Hospital

Great Ormond Street hospital are organising a charity, fund-raising family 5k race, in Battersea Park on Sunday June 24th. You can go here, to sign up and join. Particpants can skip run or walk or even hop around.  It will be a win win situation - fun, healthy and also raising money for a really good cause. The money  will be used to redevelop vital parts of the hospital so that staff can care for more sick children and will also help provide things like medical equipment, vital research into childhood illnesses, and beds for parents to stay in so they can be close to their children.

Money Saving Tips

I've been asked my British Mummy Bloggers to concentrate my mind on money saving tips. So here are  ten tips that spring to mind: 

1. My daughter recently shared her 8th birthday party with two of her friends. We hired a church hall, found a dancer to teach them a street dance routine, and bought Easter Eggs on special offer at Asda for going away presents. The girls all said it was the best birthday party of their lives, and yes, it really was fun, and stress free because all three mother's shared the tasks and costs.

2. We only hire a babysitter if it's something we both really want to do on one particular evening - a dinner party, a party, a school quiz, a special trip to the theatre. Otherwise we go out separately. I also use a sixth form school girl as my babysitter, so the rate is reasonable. We trust her completely.

3. I only buy clothes for myself on Ebay or during sales.

4. I make use of store cards and vouchers. I buy children's shoes in Trotters so that every fifth pair has %40 off etc.

5. Two weeks ago, I gave up smoking! I only smoked about 1 or 2 a day but even so I'm saving about 20 pounds a month.

6. Buy railcards for train travel.

7. Make sure I use every scrap of food in the fridge and freezer.

8. Turn off lights/Turn the thermostat down.

9. Use cousin's hand me downs for a selection of my children's clothes.

10. Keep a separate account to save for tax.

Note: This post is for Brit Mums Piggy Bank tales competition sponsored by Virgin Money.

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